Week 4, Day 2: How to Talk to Your Family and Friends About Scams (Even If They Don’t Listen)
Slide 1: Hook – The Toughest Conversation You’ll Ever Have
“Dad, I think you’re being scammed.” These might be the hardest words you'll ever say.
Scams don’t just take money. They take trust, dignity, and relationships with people we care about.
But if we don’t speak up, we might lose them to something far worse.
This article will teach you exactly how to approach someone you care about when you believe they’ve fallen into a scam — without pushing them away.
Slide 2: Meet Uncle Francis – The Real-Life Story That Hits Close to Home
Francis was a retired engineer, 72, widowed, and spending more time online than ever before.
One day, he proudly told his niece, Janice, that he’d met “a lovely woman” from the Philippines through Facebook.
“She’s caring, spiritual, and just needs help with some legal fees,” he said.
Janice immediately felt something was off.
But when she tried to warn him, he snapped:
“You don’t understand! You’re just being judgmental. She’s the only one who’s made me feel alive in years.”
By the time Janice convinced him to listen, Francis had lost over $58,000 and was too ashamed to tell anyone else.
Slide 3: Why These Conversations Are So Difficult
Scams often succeed not because victims are foolish, but because the scammer has emotionally manipulated them.
The tactics used — whether romance, investment, or impersonation — are powerful and well-practiced:
- They isolate the victim (“Don’t tell anyone; they’ll try to separate us.”)
- They build emotional dependence (“You’re the only one I trust.”)
- They offer hope (“This investment will help your retirement.”)
When you try to “help” someone, they don’t hear logic — they hear:
- “You think I’m stupid.”
- “You’re trying to take away the only good thing in my life.”
- “You’re judging me.”
That’s why information alone is not enough.
You need empathy, patience, and strategy.
Slide 4: Step 1 – Approach With Curiosity, Not Accusation
Wrong way:
“You’re being scammed!”
“How can you be so gullible?”
Right way:
“That sounds interesting — can you tell me more about this person/business?”
“How did you two meet? What do you like about them?”
Use open-ended questions. Your goal is to join their world, not crash into it.
Avoid “why” questions — they can feel like accusations.
Try:
- “What made you feel they were trustworthy?”
- “What made this opportunity stand out for you?”
Remember: Curiosity disarms. Accusation shuts down.
Slide 5: Step 2 – Find Common Ground First
People don’t respond to facts. They respond to people they trust.
Before jumping into red flags, build emotional alignment:
- Show genuine concern, not control.
- Reflect back what they’re feeling:
“It sounds like she really makes you feel appreciated.”
“You’ve worked hard for years — I get why you’d want a great return.”
This builds a bridge — and it’s across that bridge that truth can walk.
Slide 6: Step 3 – Plant Seeds of Doubt, Gently
Don’t try to “prove” it’s a scam. Instead, ask leading questions that nudge them to reflect:
- “Has she ever done a video call with you?”
- “Has this company ever been in the news — good or bad?”
- “Do you know anyone else who’s invested in this?”
- “What happens if the money doesn’t come back — is there a safety net?”
Let them wrestle with the inconsistencies themselves.
The goal is not to win the argument.
The goal is to open a window of doubt wide enough for fresh air to enter.
Slide 7: Step 4 – Share Stories, Not Stats
Instead of bombarding them with facts like:
“40,000 people were scammed like this last year,”
try: “My friend’s dad lost $30,000 to a similar investment. He thought it was real too.”
Stories humanize the issue. They bypass shame and ego.
Better yet: Find survivor testimonials or news clips they can relate to.
Example:
- Romance scam? Show a video interview of an older man who lost everything to a fake online girlfriend.
- Crypto scam? Share a case study of someone who was promised 10x returns and never saw their money again.
Let others speak for you. It’s less threatening.
Slide 8: Step 5 – Invite Experts, Not Just Family
Sometimes, people won’t listen to loved ones — but they’ll listen to authority.
Leverage:
- Police community talks
- Cybersecurity hotlines (like ScamShield or equivalent)
- Scam survivor support groups
- Financial advisors
Say:
“Would you be open to talking to someone who knows more about this kind of thing?”
Make it less about them being wrong, and more about wanting a second opinion.
Let professionals be the “bad cop.” You stay the “safe harbor.”
Slide 9: What If They Still Refuse to Listen?
Sometimes, even after all your efforts, they’ll dig in deeper.
They may lash out. They may cut you off.
This is not your failure. It’s the scammer’s grip.
Here’s what you can still do:
- Stay available. Keep the door open.
- Avoid “I told you so.” The moment they feel betrayed, they may withdraw forever.
- Leave breadcrumbs. Send occasional, non-judgmental updates about similar scams. Let them connect the dots.
- Protect what you can. Notify banks, credit bureaus, and authorities if funds or accounts are involved.
Remember: The goal isn’t to win today. It’s to be there when they’re finally ready.
Slide 10: How Janice Helped Uncle Francis (Eventually)
When Janice realized arguing didn’t work, she shifted tactics.
She asked Uncle Francis questions like:
“Would you be open to helping me check if her story adds up? I just want to be sure.”
She started showing him news articles of similar scams — casually, not accusingly.
Eventually, when the “girlfriend” asked Francis to sell his apartment, he hesitated.
He came to Janice and asked:
“Do you think… maybe she’s not real?”
That was the moment Janice had been waiting for.
Not to say “I told you so,” but to walk with him out of the fog.
Slide 11: Checklist – When You Suspect a Loved One Is Being Scammed
✅ Don’t shame or accuse.
✅ Approach with empathy and curiosity.
✅ Ask questions to get them talking.
✅ Plant seeds, don’t uproot beliefs.
✅ Share stories, not stats.
✅ Bring in professionals.
✅ Stay patient — it can take time.
✅ Protect their assets if possible.
Slide 12: Resources to Use and Share
Here are some helpful tools you can use:
- Scam Alert Portals (local cybersecurity or police websites)
- Scam Checker Hotlines (for real-time verification)
- Support Groups (online forums or community centers for scam survivors)
- Educational videos on scam tactics
Create a small digital folder or printed packet — something tangible they can keep. You’d be surprised how many victims come back to that info when they’re ready.
Slide 13: The Emotional Cost — And Why It’s Worth It
These conversations might feel like walking a tightrope.
You’ll doubt yourself.
You’ll feel helpless.
You might even get blamed.
But one day, if — or when — they realize the truth, you’ll be the one person they remember didn’t give up on them.
That’s a legacy of love and protection no scammer can ever take away.
Slide 14: Closing – If You’ve Ever Had This Conversation, You’re a Hero
Stopping scams isn’t just about blocking phone numbers or tracing money.
It’s about defending the people we love from manipulation — and that starts with courageous, uncomfortable conversations.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.
💬 Have you ever had to confront a friend or family member about a possible scam?
👉 Share your story below. You never know who you might help.
