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Week 2, Day 7: When A Loved One Falls For A Scam – How To Help Without Judgment

Slide 1: Title Slide

“My Mum Was Scammed, and I Almost Lost Her Too”🔍 A story of loss, shame, and the power of support.


Slide 2: The Pain of Discovery

When Wei Ling noticed her 63-year-old mother, Auntie Lim, acting strangely—secrecy around her phone, late-night whispering, sudden requests for money—she assumed the worst.

“Are you gambling again?” Wei Ling snapped one evening.

Her mother’s face crumpled.

“No… he said he loved me.”

That’s when it all came out. Auntie Lim had been in a romance scam for 7 months. She had sent RM90,000 in total. Her life savings.


Slide 3: The Family’s Reaction

Wei Ling exploded. “How could you be so stupid? You don’t even know him!”

Her siblings joined in too—blaming, scolding, mocking.

Auntie Lim stopped talking altogether. She locked herself in her room for days.

When Wei Ling tried to bring her dinner, she saw something that made her stomach drop.

A suicide note.


Slide 4: Victims Don’t Just Lose Money

Scams don’t just destroy bank accounts.

They break trust.

They isolate people.

They leave behind shame, guilt, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts.

Many victims are too afraid to speak up because they fear being judged by their own families.

That’s why some suffer in silence—even after the scam is over.


Slide 5: Why Do People Stay Quiet?

They’re afraid of being seen as stupid.
They don’t want to be a burden.
They blame themselves.
They fear scolding, punishment, or being cut off from support.

Victims often say:

“I can’t tell anyone. They won’t understand.”
“It’s my fault anyway. I should’ve known better.”
“They’ll laugh at me. Or worse—stop talking to me.”

This is why many scams go unreported.
This is why some victims spiral into depression.


Slide 6: What Scammers Do That We Often Don’t

Let’s pause for a second.

Think about how scammers operate.

They:

  • Make victims feel heard
  • Offer comfort and compliments
  • Build trust
  • NEVER judge

Scammers create a safe space—even if it’s fake.

Now compare that to how most victims are treated after they get scammed:

Scolded. Mocked. Shamed. Isolated.

No wonder some would rather stay with the scammer than admit the truth to their families.


Slide 7: It’s Not About Intelligence – It’s About Emotion

People say, “How could you fall for that?” as if it's about being smart or dumb.

But scams don’t happen because victims are unintelligent.

Scams happen because scammers:

  • Exploit loneliness
  • Tap into hope
  • Trigger urgency
  • Fake authority

Anyone can fall for it—doctors, lawyers, CEOs. Even cybersecurity experts.

Emotion overrides logic. That’s what scammers count on.


Slide 8: What to Do When a Loved One Gets Scammed

If someone you love has fallen victim, here’s how you can help without adding more pain:

✅ Listen First

Let them speak. Don’t interrupt. Just listen—even if it hurts to hear.

✅ Stay Calm

Even if you're shocked, angry, or disappointed—breathe. Your reaction can shape whether they’ll trust you again.

✅ Reassure Them

Say: “I’m here for you.” “You’re not alone.” “We’ll get through this together.”

✅ Don’t Blame

Avoid: “Why didn’t you tell me?” or “You should have known better.” These make them shut down.

✅ Report Together

Help them make a police report or call the national scam hotline. Support them in taking action.


Slide 9: What Not to Do

🛑 Don’t laugh or make jokes about it.
🛑 Don’t shame them publicly, even in family WhatsApp groups.
🛑 Don’t compare: “So-and-so would never fall for this!”
🛑 Don’t threaten: “If you do this again, you’re on your own.”

These actions don’t help—they hurt. They can push your loved one into a darker emotional state.


Slide 10: How to Rebuild Their Trust

Trust, once broken, takes time to rebuild. Here are ways to support your loved one:

  • Invite them out for meals – reconnect with kindness.
  • Introduce scam awareness materials casually. “Saw this article – reminds me of what happened. Want to take a look?”
  • Celebrate small wins – even if it’s just reporting the scam.
  • Offer to help them manage finances temporarily, with respect.
  • Encourage therapy or counseling – professional help can work wonders.

Slide 11: The Turning Point

Wei Ling was lucky.

She found the note in time.

She sat outside her mother’s room and said through the door:

“Ma, I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. But I’m ready to listen now.”

A few minutes later, the door opened.

Auntie Lim broke down in tears.

And for the first time in months, they hugged.

That was the beginning of healing.


Slide 12: Scams Break Trust – But You Can Rebuild It

Yes, scams are devastating.
Yes, it’s heartbreaking to watch someone you love fall victim.

But reacting with anger and blame doesn’t undo the damage.
It just adds another wound.

If we want fewer people to fall victim, we need to create safe spaces.
Places where victims can come forward without shame.

Your support could save more than just money.
It could save a life.


Slide 13: Call to Action

📣 If someone you love got scammed…
Be their safe space.
Be the one who listens.
Be the reason they start to heal.

🆘 Save the National Scam Hotline: 997
📞 Report scams to CCID or your local police station

Let’s stop scams—not with shame, but with support.


Slide 14: End Slide

You’re Not Alone. Neither Are They.
Follow us for more real stories, expert tips, and scam prevention resources.

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